The Goodison Park Merry-Go-Round and the Scottish Dream

Pull up a stool, grab a cold pint of Tennent's, and let's talk about the absolute circus currently running British football. The Scottish Football Association is on the hunt for a new manager after Steve Clarke finally walked away on Saturday night. Clarke spent seven years making sure the Tartan Army suffered through some of the most defensive, soul-crushing football ever witnessed on God's green earth.

He signed a new four-year contract in late May, only to tear it up after Scotland got absolutely dismantled by Brazil in Miami. Fortunately for the SFA, Clarke waived his payout, saving them a tidy six-figure sum that can now go toward the next victim.

Naturally, the SFA board has decided that the only man who can save them is David Moyes. The Glasgow-born veteran has spent the last year in his second spell at Goodison Park, trying to convince the Everton faithful that a 4-5-1 mid-block is the pinnacle of human achievement.

Moyes has always admitted he wants to manage the national team before he calls it a day. But here is the catch: he is currently under contract, and the SFA is famously broke. SFA Chief Executive Ian Maxwell is talking big about taking his time, but as the Daily Mail analyzed, the timing for Moyes still doesn't feel right.

If Moyes decides he would rather stay in the Premier League than try to qualify Scotland for Euro 2028, the SFA shortlist is a comedy of errors. You have Ange Postecoglou, who managed Australia at the 2014 World Cup and won five trophies with Celtic. Postecoglou is currently a UEFA observer after getting sacked by both Spurs and Nottingham Forest in the last year.

Then you have Neil Lennon, currently managing Dunfermline, who wants another crack at the big time but has a history of spectacular meltdowns. Add Steven Naismith as a caretaker option, Alex Neil at Millwall, and Darren Fletcher—who is currently coaching Manchester United's Under-18s—and you have a recipe for pure, unadulterated chaos.

Shortlist Candidates and the SFA Budget Crisis

Let's be real about the SFA's candidates. Promoting Steven Naismith from within is the ultimate cheap option. Naismith was Clarke's assistant at the World Cup and has exactly one year of manager experience at Hearts.

SFA Chief Executive Ian Maxwell might pitch it as a smooth transition, but the fans will see it as a surrender. Then there is Kasper Hjulmand, who led Denmark to the Euro 2020 semi-finals but was recently sacked by Bayer Leverkusen. Hjulmand is a free agent, which instantly makes him attractive to a federation that treats a £500,000 annual salary like it is the crown jewels.

Then you have Neil Lennon, who is Dunfermline's manager and has a reputation for getting his teams to run through brick walls. But Lennon's tactical setups can be as chaotic as a late-night kebab shop fight. Alex Neil is doing decent work at Millwall, but leaving a stable Championship club for the Scotland job is like swapping a reliable Honda Civic for a unicycle with a flat tire.

SFA board members are desperate for a big name to appease the media, which explains why Darren Fletcher's name is being tossed around. Fletcher has exactly zero permanent head coaching experience, but hey, he played 80 times for Scotland and once sat on the Manchester United bench as a caretaker, so he must be ready.

The Jarrod Bowen Raid and the Relegation Rescue Mission

Meanwhile, back at Goodison Park, Moyes is busy trying to put together a squad that can survive another grueling Premier League campaign. Everton ended last season on a wretched 7-game winless run, which means Moyes is already starting the new season on thin ice.

To fix his broken attack, Moyes is plotting a audacious raid on relegated West Ham for their talismanic forward, Jarrod Bowen. Bowen is 29 and easily the most valuable asset left at the London Stadium. The Hammers are desperate to keep him, with Nuno Espirito Santo hoping to build his entire promotion push around the England international.

But Everton has a secret weapon: the massive bond between Moyes and Bowen. As TEAMtalk reported, Bowen is the priority target for Everton if he decides to leave the London Stadium. Bowen played some of the best football of his life under Moyes at West Ham, racking up 60 goals and 41 assists in 202 appearances.

Even during West Ham's dismal relegation campaign, Bowen managed to score 9 goals and provide 11 assists in the Premier League. Sources close to the player have confirmed that Bowen has promised Moyes he would seriously consider a move to Merseyside if Everton makes a formal offer.

Aston Villa and Tottenham are also lurking, but the Moyes factor gives Everton a massive head start. Everton's squad is already a weird mix of Premier League survivors and temporary fixes.

The Toffees are confident they can keep Jack Grealish on loan from Manchester City, but they desperately need more quality on the flanks. Bowen is exactly the type of direct, hard-working winger that Moyes loves. He works hard, defends from the front, and doesn't complain when he is asked to play as a lone striker in a counter-attacking system.

Whether Everton can actually afford to buy him from a West Ham hierarchy that wants to avoid a fire sale is another question entirely. If West Ham holds out for a massive fee, Everton's dream reunion might end before it even starts.

The €70 Million Goncalo Ramos Gamble in Milan

If you think the British market is crazy, let’s cross the English Channel and look at the absolute madness happening in Italy. AC Milan is reportedly on the verge of spending upwards of €70 million to sign Portuguese striker Goncalo Ramos from Paris Saint-Germain. Yes, you read that right.

Milan is about to drop a club-record fee on a 25-year-old forward who spent the last two seasons serving as a very expensive bench warmer in Paris. Ramos was originally signed by PSG to be the perfect focal point alongside Kylian Mbappe, but that plan went out the window faster than a bad habit.

Once Mbappe left, Ramos probably thought he would finally get his chance to shine as the main man. Instead, PSG manager Luis Enrique decided he preferred a fluid, strikerless front three that completely cut Ramos out of the system. According to Sempre Milan, Ramos has had a difficult time in the French capital.

Ramos was relegated to the role of super sub, starting only 16 league games in his first season and a mere 12 starts in his second. When he did play, he was effective, regularly scoring big goals and even bagging a pressure penalty in a Champions League shootout against Arsenal.

But Enrique simply didn't trust him to lead the line in big matches, preferring to use him as a late-game battering ram. Milan fans are already divided over the transfer.

One camp is thrilled that the club is finally spending real money on a classy center forward after years of relying on veteran free agents. The other camp is terrified that Milan is getting fleeced by PSG for a player who couldn't get into a team that played without a traditional striker.

At 25, Ramos still has plenty of time to hit his peak and prove his doubters wrong under a new manager. But if he struggles in Serie A, this €70 million deal will go down as one of the most expensive blunders in Milan's history. It is a massive roll of the dice for Gerry Cardinale and the Milan hierarchy.

So there you have it. Scotland is dreaming of Moyes, Moyes is dreaming of Bowen, and Milan is dreaming of Ramos. In the world of European football, the circus never stops, and the clowns are always in charge.