David Moyes Is Cooking with Gasoline Again

If you told an Everton supporter six months ago that opening day 2026 would feel like a stress-free stroll in the park, they would have called NHS crisis services on your behalf. Yet yesterday afternoon at the Hill Dickinson Stadium, David Moyes delivered a 2-0 masterpiece against Crystal Palace that felt unsettlingly smooth. For a fanbase accustomed to watching their club run through glass while naked, a comfortable victory is almost terrifying.

Let us not beat around the bush: Everton have not won an opening day Premier League match in five years. Half the squad usually looks like they just met in the stadium parking lot twenty minutes before kickoff. Yesterday, however, Moyes had this group marching in tight formation, suffocating Palace in mid-block before striking with ruthless efficiency.

Remember those bleak winter afternoons under previous regimes where every backward pass felt like a signed confession? Yesterday looked like classic Moyesball injected with actual modern passing lanes, and the home crowd did not even have to chew off their own fingernails by the 70th minute.

Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall and the Midfield Renaissance

Palace came into this fixture with plenty of summer chatter about Pierre Sage bringing tactical enlightenment across the English Channel. Instead, Sage’s side looked like a beat-up hatchback running on three cylinders and a rusted spare tire. They dominated early possession, but possession without punch is just expensive cardio.

Jean-Philippe Mateta had two golden opportunities in the opening twenty minutes, including a thunderous header that crashed off the crossbar. Jordan Pickford did what Jordan Pickford does best: screamed at his back four like a drill sergeant who missed breakfast, then pulled off a reflex save to deny Eddie Nketiah from point-blank range.

That sequence proved to be the pivotal turning point of the entire afternoon. Palace squandered their early momentum, and Everton immediately made them pay in the 42nd minute with a goal that belonged in a museum.

Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall picked up the ball near the edge of the eighteen-yard box, took one touch to clear his feet, and whipped an angled curl into the far top corner. It was pure, unadulterated filthy technique that left the Palace defense stranded. Dean Henderson did not even bother diving; he just stood there looking like a man who realized he left his front door wide open.

Dewsbury-Hall was everywhere yesterday, operating with the swagger of a guy who knows he is the smartest player on the pitch. Alongside debutant Hayden Hackney, Everton suddenly have a central midfield axis that actually moves the ball forward instead of sideways.

Then you had 19-year-old Harrison Armstrong putting in a shift that made him look like a twenty-season veteran. Watching a teenager boss veteran Premier League midfielders while Prime Minister Andy Burnham watched from the director box felt like a fever dream for Evertonians.

Thierno Barry Answers the Bell

When the second goal arrived in the 53rd minute, the match was essentially dead and buried. Iliman Ndiaye danced past his defender on the left flank and served up a pinpoint cross that Thierno Barry met with a bullet header into the bottom corner.

Barry needed that goal badly after a pre-season where he looked about as sharp as a butter knife. Seeing him attack the cross with that level of conviction was massive for his confidence and for Everton’s attacking structure. He celebrated like a man who just got a governor pardon, and frankly, nobody can blame him.

After Barry's header went in, Everton simply put the car in cruise control. Moyes shut down the central channels, forced Palace into harmless wide areas, and watched the clock tick away without a single pulse-raising moment for the home supporters.

Now, before everyone on Merseyside starts printing European tour t-shirts, let us inject a healthy dose of cynicism into the conversation. Palace were downright dreadful in front of goal yesterday, and their tactical setup under Sage raised serious red flags for the rest of the season.

Pierre Sage and Palace’s Glaring Red Flags

Sage opted for a high defensive line without having the recovery speed in his backline to support it. When defender Chadi Riad went down with a nasty knee injury in the second half, Palace’s defensive structural integrity collapsed completely.

Palace’s squad depth looks paper-thin right now. If Nketiah and Mateta continue to miss sitters at this rate, Palace fans are in for a long, miserable autumn down in South London.

Everton were not flawless either, despite what the scoreboard says. The first twenty minutes were nervous, featuring central defensive gaps that a sharper attacking side like Arsenal or Manchester City would have exploited three times over.

There were also moments in the second half where Everton dropped so deep they were practically sitting in the front row of the lower tier. Moyes loves a low block, but playing that deep against elite opposition is asking for an immediate mugging.

Still, winning ugly or winning comfortable on opening day counts for the exact same three points in the standings. For Everton, starting a campaign without immediate relegation panic is a luxury they have not enjoyed since the pre-pandemic era.

What Moyes has built here is not flash, but it is functional. Hackney brings tempo, Dewsbury-Hall brings quality, and Ndiaye provides that spark of magic that keeps defenders awake at night.

It reminds me of the classic 2004 Moyes era at Goodison, when teams hated playing Everton because they knew they were in for ninety minutes of bruised ribs and relentless work rate. Except this time, the squad actually has players who can curl one into the top bin from twenty-five yards out.

So, what is the takeaway from opening weekend? Everton fans should enjoy this morning coffee without the usual dark cloud hanging over their heads. The road ahead is long, but for one glorious Saturday afternoon, football was actually fun again on Merseyside.

As for Palace, Pierre Sage needs to fix his tactical blueprint immediately. You cannot play possession football in the Premier League if your forwards shoot like stormtroopers and your defense melts at the first sign of pressure.

Everton pocketed the win, kept a clean sheet, and gave their supporters something they have not had in half a decade: genuine, unvarnished hope. That alone makes yesterday a historic afternoon.