Preseason football is a dangerous drug for the deluded

One minute you are swearing to your liver that you won’t care about glorified summer training sessions, and the next you are on a forum at 2 a.m. declaring a 15-year-old the rightful heir to Lionel Messi’s throne. Arsenal fans were treated to a proper buffet of summer silliness against Girona, and the internet did exactly what the internet does best: it went nuclear.

Max Dowman and Christos Tzolis looked like world-beaters against a Girona side that clearly left their tactical intensity back in Catalonia. We have all seen this movie before. It’s the one where the kids look like prime Brazilian Ronaldo against a mid-table La Liga team in a friendly, only to be subbed off for a league cup tie against a League One side six months later and look completely shell-shocked.

The Max Dowman hype machine is officially out of control

Watching Max Dowman drift past defenders is admittedly fun, but let’s pump the brakes. He is fifteen. He has the frame of someone who still gets carded for buying a PG-13 movie ticket. While the footwork is crisp, people are already acting like he is ready to pocket Rodri in the Premier League. The last time we saw this level of hysteria, we were being told Charlie Patino was the next Cesc Fabregas.

We need to stop treating every spark of talent in July as a guarantee of a golden generation. If you look at the mess Gianni Infantino has made of the global football schedule, these kids barely get time to breathe, let alone develop properly. Putting the weight of an Arsenal title charge on a teenager is how you get a burnt-out prospect instead of a superstar. Just ask Bojan Krkic how the 'next Messi' tag worked out for his mental health.

Christos Tzolis and the reality check we all need

Tzolis getting on the scoresheet for his debut is a nice headline, but let’s talk about the defense. Arsenal dominated, sure, but Girona’s backline looked like they were participating in a charity match for the local retirement home. If Arsenal’s recruitment team thinks this friendly result solves the lingering issues in the final third, they are kidding themselves.

It is easy to look like a hero when the opponent is playing a high line with the structural integrity of wet tissue paper. I am not saying Tzolis is a dud, but I am saying this performance has to be taken with a shaker of salt. Arsenal fans are currently in a state of euphoria, but this exact same level of misplaced confidence is what usually leads to the inevitable December collapse. The gap between Girona’s preseason B-team and a Tuesday night at Villa Park is roughly the size of the Grand Canyon.

Why we can’t have nice things without overreacting

The core problem here is the immediate need for a savior. Arsenal fans have been blue-balled by near-misses for seasons now, so every time a kid touches a ball with both feet, he becomes the new messiah. It is a psychological defense mechanism. If you convince yourself the youth academy is loaded, you don't have to face the fact that the bench is still a total wasteland of mediocrity.

Let’s look at the actual math. The winning margin was comfortable, 3-0, but it felt like a game where Girona barely broke a sweat. If Arsenal wants to actually challenge for the big hardware, they need more than just vibes and highlight reels from July friendlies. They need a striker who can finish when the pressure is on and the pitch is rain-slicked, not just when the sun is out and the crowd is full of tourists.

The verdict from the barstool

I love the optimism, truly. Being a football fan is miserable if you aren't allowed to get excited about the new toy. But let’s keep some perspective. Dowman might be a baller in three years, and Tzolis might carve out a nice career, but none of this matters when the clock strikes 90 in a North London Derby. The final score against Girona is 0-0 in the history books of competitive football. Treat it like the glorified training session it was, enjoy the goals, and put the 'heir to the throne' banners away until the lad actually hits puberty.

If you think I’m being harsh, just wait until the first injury or the first bad refereeing call. This current hype cycle will hit a brick wall the second things get difficult. Enjoy the summer sunshine while it lasts, because the Premier League does not care about your preseason breakout stars. It cares about points, grit, and not letting the lead slip away in the 88th minute. Until I see that, I am keeping my expectations firmly in the gutter where they belong.