🎙️ Football Weekly (The Guardian) •July 27, 2026 •⏱️ 39 min

Football Weekly’s summer mailbag: World Cup 2026, the off-season and more: part one

1. Executive Overview: Core Theses & Key Revelations

Recorded in the immediate aftermath of a high-stakes World Cup semi-final, the summer mailbag edition of The Guardian's Football Weekly serves as a pivotal bridge between international tournament drama and the approaching domestic season. Hosted by Max Rushden alongside senior football historians, journalists, and columnists Jonathan Wilson, John Brewin, and Barry Glendenning, the episode moves beyond routine post-mortem match reviews to deliver a incisive critique of global football administration, national team management, and the political economy of international bidding cycles.

While the relaxed demeanor of an off-season mailbag often invites lighthearted banter—touching on death metal festivals, crime procedural television series, and long-form match reporting techniques—the subtext of the conversation provides authoritative analysis on how power is accumulated, maintained, and exercised across the sport's highest echelons. The central narratives established by the panel break down into five fundamental theses:

  • The Financial Architecture of FIFA Patronage: Jonathan Wilson exposes the structural reasons underlying FIFA’s systemic resistance to administrative reform. Power under President Gianni Infantino is insulated by an extensive network of patronage, wherein national delegates and committee members receive substantial salaries, per diems, and generous expense packages. This financial alignment guarantees electoral stability while suppressing institutional dissent. However, Wilson identifies an emerging rift, noting that federations in the Global South, particularly across Africa, are increasingly recognizing that FIFA’s populist rhetoric masks historical exploitation.
  • England’s Managerial Identity Crisis—Pragmatism vs. Evangelism: Evaluating England's semi-final exit and the broader direction of the national team, the panel examines whether pragmatic managers like Thomas Tuchel are equipped to break England’s deep-seated tactical block. Wilson argues that England’s recurring failure in major matches—manifested in a tendency to retreat into low blocks ("bunkering down with eight players on the edge of his own box")—cannot be resolved by cautious game management alone. Instead, the national team requires a radical cultural reset, drawing a direct parallel to Brendan McCullum’s transformative "Bazball" approach in English cricket.
  • The Realpolitik of National Association Bidding: John Brewin details why the Football Association (FA) maintains a position of quiet diplomatic compliance toward Zurich. With strategic ambitions focused on securing hosting rights for the 2035 Women's World Cup and positioning for the 2038 or 2042 Men's World Cup, the FA refuses to risk alienating Infantino or challenging FIFA governance. Administrative ethics are consistently subordinated to hosting ambitions.
  • Officiating Sanity and Domestic Contrast: The panel highlights how international tournament officiating, particularly regarding handball interpretations, successfully re-centered common sense by evaluating intent and natural bodily movement. Brewin and Rushden contrast this pragmatic tournament standard against the overly bureaucratic, pedantic VAR culture of the English Premier League, warning of the impending return to domestic refereeing controversies.
  • Historical Anomalies and Structural Precedents: Wilson outlines a compelling statistical and historical framework: should Spain secure another international title, England would remain the sole major nation possessing exactly one World Cup victory (1966). This single-title status imposes a unique psychological burden. Conversely, Barry Glendenning compares England’s international quest to Paris Saint-Germain’s prolonged Champions League struggle, arguing that institutional curses are ultimately broken through structural modernization rather than historical fate.

Together, these insights offer a comprehensive diagnostic of modern football's institutional realities, illustrating how governance, tactical philosophy, and media narratives intersect to shape the global game.

2. Context & Background: The Landscape Leading to This Conversation

The summer of 2026 represents a critical watershed for international football. Coming off an expanded North American World Cup cycle characterized by massive geographical footprints, extreme climate considerations, and unprecedented commercialization, the sport finds itself at an administrative and tactical crossroads. The sheer volume of matches and intense media coverage have left players, coaches, and journalists in a state of operational exhaustion, making the transition back toward domestic competition both a relief and a source of analytical reflection.

For over two decades, The Guardian's Football Weekly has occupied a preeminent position in sports broadcasting. Initiated in 2006 during the dawn of digital audio publishing, the show evolved from simple audio coverage into an authoritative global platform capable of balancing sharp investigative journalism with existential humor. In the wake of weeks of daily tournament broadcasts, the summer mailbag format provides a unique space where long-term structural trends can be unpacked without the immediate pressure of daily match deadlines.

To fully grasp the significance of the panel's observations, one must understand the historical backdrop of FIFA governance over the past decade. Following the 2015 U.S. Department of Justice indictments that unseated Sepp Blatter and dismantled senior executive cadres, Gianni Infantino assumed the FIFA presidency under the banner of transparency and modernization. However, rather than decentralizing power, the Infantino administration perfected the art of electoral consolidation. By expanding the World Cup to 48 teams, creating novel global club competitions, and distributing FIFA Forward development grants, Zurich created an unshakeable voting bloc among smaller national associations.

Concurrently, English football has grappled with its own internal contradictions. Despite possessing the world's most lucrative domestic competition in the Premier League, the English national team has struggled to convert domestic wealth into international silver. Gareth Southgate’s eight-year tenure successfully rebuilt team culture and restored basic tournament competitiveness, yet repeated failures in semi-finals and finals exposed persistent tactical limitations. The appointment of Thomas Tuchel was designed to deliver ruthless tournament pragmatism. However, as the panel’s discussion reveals, whether pragmatic management can overcome decades of ingrained psychological retreat remains one of English sport's most pressing questions.

3. Deep-Dive Thematic Breakdown

3.1. The Patronage Engine: FIFA Committee Dynamics and the Illusion of Reform

At the center of Jonathan Wilson's institutional critique is an unvarnished examination of why FIFA remains immune to meaningful governance reform. Public discourse frequently treats FIFA's administrative stagnation as a mystery or an unexplainable failing of leadership. Wilson disassembles this illusion by analyzing the precise economic incentives that govern FIFA Congress voting behavior.

Under FIFA’s statutes, each of the 211 member associations possesses an equal vote in presidential elections, regardless of population size, footballing infrastructure, or domestic league scale. To secure and maintain power, FIFA leadership relies on a sophisticated system of patronage. Appointment to various standing committees, sub-committees, and task forces brings substantial personal financial rewards to national association leaders. Officials receive generous annual salaries, per diems, travel allowances, and expense packages that far exceed the economic realities of their home jurisdictions.

"The reason why FIFA is so resistant to reform is that the delegate to vote for Gianni Infantino, a lot of them benefit from that relationship. If you're on a FIFA committee, you get your salary, you get a stipend and you get expenses, which are pretty generous." — Jonathan Wilson

This economic alignment creates a powerful incentive structure. National delegates are disincentivized from questioning executive decisions, demanding financial transparency, or challenging presidential incumbents, as doing so risks immediate exclusion from lucrative committee roles. The patronage machine effectively converts institutional oversight into personal revenue, isolating top leadership from genuine accountability.

However, Wilson points out a vital geopolitical shift: the emerging breakdown of this patronage consensus within key regional blocs. Historically, FIFA presidents cultivated support across Africa and South America by framing expanded tournament access as an act of global equity. Yet, behind the scenes, federations are recognizing that these gestures represent superficial concessions while major commercial value continues to flow toward Zurich and select commercial partners.

"I think there is now a recognition in certain areas from certain people that Infantino is not actually a friend of the global South. FIFA's contempt for Africa, the ways it used Africa, I think that is slowly filtering through." — Jonathan Wilson

This growing awareness among African federations represents a long-term structural vulnerability for Infantino. As member associations begin to demand genuine developmental autonomy rather than performative stipends, the unassailable voting coalition that has protected Zurich leadership for decades may face unprecedented internal friction.

3.2. Pragmatism vs. Evangelism: The Tactical and Psychological Diagnosis of England

The panel’s tactical post-mortem of England's semi-final performance examines the broader question of national team identity and managerial philosophy. Following another high-profile tournament exit, the debate centers on whether England’s recurring failure in knockout matches is a structural tactical defect or a psychological failure under pressure.

Jonathan Wilson draws a sharp distinction between tactical pragmatism and cultural evangelism. Pragmatic coaches, such as Thomas Tuchel, prioritize game management, defensive compactness, and exploiting opponent errors. While this approach is effective in short knockout tournaments, it often falters when a team encounters elite opposition capable of dominating possession. In critical moments, England consistently defaults to a defensive posture, retreating deep into their own defensive third and surrendering midfield control.

"I don't think England needs to be quite as evangelistic and talk about how we're saving international football, but there has to be someone to come in and change the culture. Thomas Tuchel as a pragmatist maybe wasn't the correct fit because we maybe need an evangelist." — Jonathan Wilson

Wilson analyzes this systemic retreat through the lens of mental conditioning. When leading or facing adversity, English players historically lack the technical confidence to retain possession and dictate the tempo of play. Instead, they revert to panic-driven clearance tactics—what Wilson describes as "bunkering down with eight players on the edge of his own box."

To break this entrenched habit, Wilson introduces an intriguing cross-sport analogy: English cricket's adoption of "Bazball" under head coach Brendan McCullum. Prior to McCullum's arrival, the English Test cricket team was trapped in a cycle of conservative, fear-driven performances. McCullum instituted an aggressive, risk-tolerant philosophy that redefined player mindsets and broke long-standing orthodoxies.

"I don't think Brendan McCullum's response to going ahead would be to bunker down with eight players on the edge of his own box. If we need a short sharp shock to break England out of their tendency, then maybe that is the solution." — Jonathan Wilson

Applying this concept to football suggests that England does not merely require incremental tactical tweaks; it requires a radical philosophical shift. An evangelistic manager would demand that England maintain high defensive lines, press aggressively, and retain ball possession regardless of match context, thereby purging the risk-averse instincts that have compromised successive generations of talent.

3.3. Strategic Servitude: The FA’s Bidding Ambitions and Diplomacy

While external commentators criticize FIFA's administrative record, national governing bodies frequently operate under a very different set of strategic imperatives. John Brewin provides a illuminating analysis of the Football Association's institutional silence regarding FIFA corruption and governance abuses.

Historically, the FA positioned itself as a moral guardian of international football, often leading public critiques against FIFA leadership during the Sepp Blatter era. However, this confrontational stance yielded disastrous political outcomes, most notably during the bidding process for the 2018 World Cup, where England received a humiliating two votes despite presenting a technically superior bid. In the years since, Wembley has executed a complete diplomatic pivot, adopting a strategy of silent compliance toward Infantino's regime.

"The FA is looking to host the Women's World Cup in 2035 and doesn't want to scuffle that. They've probably got their eye on a bid for the World Cup in either 2038 or 2042, so they don't want to make an enemy of Infantino now." — John Brewin

Brewin outlines the FA’s long-term hosting roadmap: securing the 2035 Women's World Cup followed by a flagship bid for the Men's World Cup in 2038 or 2042. To realize these ambitions, the FA requires the direct political support of Infantino and his FIFA Council voting bloc. Consequently, any temptation to publicly critique FIFA's human rights records, expansion plans, or financial distributions is suppressed.

This dynamic illustrates the realpolitik of sports administration. Hosting major international tournaments delivers immense domestic revenue, infrastructure investment, and political prestige. National associations quickly learn that ethical crusade in global football administration comes at the direct expense of hosting viability. By choosing strategic servitude, the FA prioritizes long-term venue acquisition over administrative reform.

3.4. Refereeing Sanity and the Domestic Contrast: VAR and Handball Interpretations

Officiating standards formed another major pillar of the mailbag discussion, with John Brewin and Max Rushden analyzing how tournament refereeing succeeded where domestic league officiating continues to fail. A primary focus was the interpretation of handball laws throughout the tournament.

In recent seasons, domestic competitions—most notably the English Premier League—have been paralyzed by hyper-technical VAR interpretations of handball. The pursuit of absolute objective precision resulted in penalties awarded for natural arm positions, deflection contacts, and micro-distance ricochets. This pedantry diminished match fluidity and generated widespread fan frustration.

By contrast, international tournament refereeing directives prioritized game context and common-sense judgment. Officials evaluated whether a defender made a deliberate attempt to expand their body silhouette rather than penalizing biological movement patterns.

"It's true, isn't it? It's something that we simply discuss every time in the Premier League. And yet, for some reason, sense seems to have prevailed in this World Cup regarding handball." — John Brewin

Rushden and Brewin note that this common-sense approach was reinforced by North American sports broadcasting culture, which favors physical flow and minimal officiating intervention over constant VAR stoppages. However, both panelists express dread regarding the return to domestic league action, predicting that Premier League officiating will immediately revert to rigid, pedantic VAR protocols once the season resumes.

3.5. Historical Anomaly & Statistical Determinism: The Sole-Title Burden

Analyzing tournament outcomes through historical and statistical frameworks, Jonathan Wilson presents a striking paradox regarding England's World Cup record. If Spain or another previous multi-time champion captures the trophy, England becomes uniquely isolated in world football history.

"If Spain have won on the Sunday, then England will be the only team remaining which have won the World Cup once and once only, which for neatness of sake makes me think in the guarantee to win in 2030." — Jonathan Wilson

Every other nation that has won a World Cup falls into one of two categories: multiple winners (Brazil, Germany, Italy, Argentina, France, Uruguay) or non-winners. Being the sole nation with exactly one victory creates a unique psychological narrative. It frames the 1966 victory not as the start of a sustained footballing tradition, but as an historical anomaly—a singular breakthrough followed by decades of structural underperformance.

Barry Glendenning challenges the notion that historical destiny or narrative curses determine international success. He points to Paris Saint-Germain’s long-standing failure to win the UEFA Champions League despite massive financial investment. For years, PSG was viewed as psychologically doomed, repeatedly collapsing in high-stakes knockout ties. However, once the club restructured its sporting leadership, modernized its tactical approach, and abandoned reliance on celebrity superstars, they broke through their institutional ceiling.

"I suspect at some point England will win one. See also Paris Saint-Germain, their inability or their almost heroic ability to mess up Champions League campaigns. And they've since got their act together." — Barry Glendenning

Glendenning’s comparison underscores a vital lesson: psychological blocks are not permanent historical curses. Whether for PSG in Europe or England on the international stage, structural competence and tactical clarity eventually erode historical futility.

3.6. Off-Season Realism: Journalist Detoxification, Media Fatigue, and Culture

Beyond tactics and administration, the mailbag episode illuminates the human realities of elite sports journalism. Covering a modern World Cup entails extreme physical and mental fatigue. Journalists maintain grueling schedules, watching up to four or five live matches daily, producing rapid-response match reports, traveling vast geographic distances, and recording daily podcasts.

The panel’s discussion of off-season "detoxification" highlights how media professionals recover from cognitive overload. For Barry Glendenning, watching the Tour de France and immersing himself in long-form crime television series like Bosch (starring Titus Welliver as LAPD detective Harry Bosch) offers a necessary mental break from football. For John Brewin, attending Norway's Beyond the Gates death metal festival represents the ultimate reset, replacing football stadium noise with intense subcultural music.

Furthermore, Brewin's discussion of match note-taking offers a window into analytical methodology. While modern press boxes are filled with digital laptops and real-time data feeds, Brewin relies strictly on physical A4 notebooks and longhand writing to filter complex match dynamics. In an era dominated by instantaneous data, physical note-taking provides a tactile mechanism for organizing analytical thoughts during high-speed matches.

4. Speaker Perspectives & Analytical Contrast

The distinct chemistry of The Guardian's Football Weekly panel relies on contrasting analytical approaches, expertise, and media personas. Each contributor views the sport through a unique lens, producing a rich multi-dimensional conversation.

Panelist Primary Role & Perspective Core Analytical Method Key Contribution in Episode
Jonathan Wilson Senior Tactical Historian & Author Historical context, systemic tactical analysis, political economy of sports governance. Diagnosed FIFA committee stipends as patronage mechanisms; proposed "Bazball" evangelism for England.
John Brewin Senior Football Journalist & Institutional Analyst Realpolitik of national associations, bidding mechanics, officiating execution, practical journalism. Exposed FA bidding ambitions (2035/2038/2042) as cause for silence on FIFA; analyzed handball VAR sanity.
Barry Glendenning Lead Columnist & Cynical Counterweight Pragmatic skepticism, narrative subversion, cross-institutional comparisons. Compared England’s title drought to PSG’s Champions League breakthrough; provided off-season cultural balance.
Max Rushden Presenter & Editorial Facilitator Broadcasting orchestration, audience surrogate, thematic transitions, self-deprecating humor. Anchored discussion on media fatigue; bridged high-concept governance analysis with relatable cultural banter.

Detailed Speaker Breakdown

Jonathan Wilson: Operating as the panel’s primary historian and tactical theorist, Wilson grounds every observation in systemic context. When examining FIFA corruption, he avoids moralizing outrage, focusing instead on the concrete financial mechanisms (stipends, expense packages) that incentivize delegate compliance. In evaluating England, Wilson’s insistence on "tactical evangelism" reflects his long-standing thesis that elite football requires proactive possession structures rather than passive reactive pragmatism.

John Brewin: Brewin serves as the pragmatic institutional analyst. His breakdown of the FA’s long-term strategy demonstrates a clear understanding of administrative realpolitik. Brewin recognizes that national governing bodies act as rational political actors, choosing diplomatic compliance with FIFA to secure major hosting rights. His observations on officiating bring a frontline reporter's clarity, emphasizing match flow over technological pedantry.

Barry Glendenning: Glendenning acts as the essential editorial counterweight, dismantling overly romanticized or doom-laden narratives. His refusal to view England’s trophy drought as a tragic fate is central to his perspective. By invoking Paris Saint-Germain’s eventual European resolution, Glendenning reminds listeners that sporting organizations are dynamic entities capable of modernizing their way out of structural failure.

Max Rushden: As host, Rushden balances rigorous analytical inquiry with accessible broadcasting. He seamlessly transitions the panel from high-level geopolitical breakdowns of FIFA governance to lighter mailbag topics. Rushden’s openness regarding media fatigue and domestic life humanizes the press corps, establishing a rapport with listeners that elevates the podcast beyond standard sports reporting.

5. Strategic & Industry Implications

The insights shared during this mailbag episode carry profound implications for the future of global football administration, national team development, and sports media economics.

5.1. The Consolidation of Executive Power in Global Sports Governance

Jonathan Wilson’s analysis of FIFA's committee structure underscores a broader trend across international sports governance: the centralization of executive authority through financial patronage. As international federations control increasingly lucrative broadcasting and sponsorship rights, presidential leadership can distribute grants, committee positions, and development funds to secure unassailable electoral majorities.

This model limits the capacity of independent member associations or reformist coalitions to enact structural change. So long as smaller federations rely on FIFA distributions for operational survival, voting patterns will consistently favor incumbents. However, if regional federations across Africa and Asia begin to coordinate political demands, executive leadership may be forced to offer genuine structural concessions rather than financial stipends.

5.2. The Managerial Paradox of National Team Football

England’s ongoing managerial dilemma highlights a fundamental tension in modern international football. In club football, managers enjoy daily training pitch access to institute intricate tactical systems and high-pressing philosophies. In international football, restricted preparation time leads many federations to select pragmatic managers who prioritize defensive organization and set-piece efficiency.

However, as Wilson notes, pragmatism alone frequently hits a ceiling against elite international opponents who possess superior technical ball retention. National associations must decide whether to appoint short-term pragmatic tournament managers or invest in long-term tactical evangelists capable of establishing a national playing identity. Teams that fail to resolve this philosophical question risk remaining trapped in cycles of near-misses.

5.3. Realpolitik in International Tournament Bidding

John Brewin’s revelation regarding the FA’s hosting ambitions exposes the practical limitations of ethical reform in sports administration. Host selection processes for major events—such as the Men’s and Women’s World Cups—require intense diplomatic lobbying and voter alignment. National associations that publicly challenge governing bodies risk immediate political isolation and bid rejection.

Consequently, institutional critique of global sports bodies will rarely originate from major national associations seeking hosting rights. Meaningful reform pressure must instead come from external sources, including independent investigative media, commercial sponsors, and sovereign legislative bodies.

5.4. Podcast Media Dynamics and Long-Form Sports Content

The enduring success of The Guardian's Football Weekly demonstrates the shifting economics of sports media. While traditional television coverage often relies on sensationalized debate and immediate reaction, long-form podcasting allows for nuanced socio-political analysis combined with subcultural personality.

During off-season periods, audience retention depends not on live match breakdowns, but on personality-driven engagement and high-level institutional analysis. By bridging the gap between investigative football journalism and accessible entertainment, the show maintains a loyal global audience across competitive broadcasting landscapes.

6. Looking Ahead: Unresolved Questions & Next Milestones

As international football enters its next competitive cycle, several critical questions and indicators will determine whether the trends identified by the panel continue to evolve:

  • FIFA Electoral Dynamics and Global South Politics: Will skepticism among African and South American member associations coalesce into a organized political bloc capable of demanding governance reform before the next FIFA presidential election? Monitoring committee appointments and development fund allocations will provide early indicators of executive stability.
  • The FA’s Diplomatic Strategy and Hosting Bids: How will the FA navigate its relationship with Zurich as formal bidding opens for the 2035 Women's World Cup and prospective 2038/2042 Men's World Cups? Observers will watch whether Wembley maintains complete administrative compliance or attempts subtle advocacy on governance standards.
  • England’s Managerial Evolution Post-Tuchel: Will the FA eventually appoint a tactical evangelist capable of transforming England’s playing culture, or will the association continue to favor pragmatic tournament specialists? The tactical setup of the national team in upcoming international windows will reveal whether England can break its reliance on deep-block defensive retreat.
  • Officiating Protocols and Domestic VAR Alignment: Will domestic leagues adopt the common-sense handball interpretations demonstrated during international tournament play, or will Premier League refereeing revert to pedantic video analysis? The early rounds of the domestic season will provide an immediate answer.
  • Media Consumption and Journalist Burnout: As tournament calendars continue to expand with new club and international fixtures, how will sports media organizations manage journalist fatigue while maintaining analytical depth? The balance between immediate digital publishing and long-form investigative reporting remains a central challenge for the industry.

Ultimately, the summer mailbag edition of Football Weekly demonstrates that football is far more than a 90-minute tactical contest. It is a complex ecosystem of geopolitical interests, financial incentives, and cultural identities. Whether on the pitch in a World Cup semi-final or behind closed doors in Zurich committee rooms, the forces analyzed by Wilson, Brewin, Glendenning, and Rushden will continue to shape the sport for decades to come.

💬 Key Quotes & Speaker Breakdown

FIFA corruption/reform

"The reason why FIFA is so resistant to reform is that the delegate to vote for Gianni Infantino, a lot of them benefit from that relationship. If you're on a FIFA committee, you get your salary, you get a stipend and you get expenses, which are pretty generous."

— Jonathan Wilson

England manager search

"I don't think England needs to be quite as evangelistic and talk about how we're saving international football, but there has to be someone to come in and change the culture. Thomas Tuchel as a pragmatist maybe wasn't the correct fit because we maybe need an evangelist."

— Jonathan Wilson

"I don't think Brendan McCullum's response to going ahead would be to bunker down with eight players on the edge of his own box. If we need a short sharp shock to break England out of their tendency, then maybe that is the solution."

— Jonathan Wilson

FA/FIFA politics

"The FA is looking to host the Women's World Cup in 2035 and doesn't want to scuffle that. They've probably got their eye on a bid for the World Cup in either 2038 or 2042, so they don't want to make an enemy of Infantino now."

— John Broin

World Cup 2026/2030 predictions

"If Spain have won on the Sunday, then England will be the only team remaining which have won the World Cup once and once only, which for neatness of sake makes me think in the guarantee to win in 2030."

— Jonathan Wilson

FIFA politics

"I think there is now a recognition in certain areas from certain people that Infantino is not actually a friend of the global South. FIFA's contempt for Africa, the ways it used Africa, I think that is slowly filtering through."

— Jonathan Wilson

Refereeing/VAR

"It's true, isn't it? It's something that we simply discuss every time in the Premier League. And yet, for some reason, sense seems to have prevailed in this World Cup regarding handball."

— John Broin

England World Cup prospects

"I suspect at some point England will win one. See also Paris Saint-Germain, their inability or their almost heroic ability to mess up Champions League campaigns. And they've since got their act together."

— Barry Glendenning
📜 View Full Episode Verbatim Transcript 37,024 characters
This is The Guardian. Hello and welcome to The Guardian football weekly, it's a mailbag, I guess Mark Langdon would call it a bridge between the joy, agony of the World Cup and the start of the Premier League. You'd have thought after daily pods for so long you might want to listen to something about the news or politics or food or what people did yesterday, but we can only conclude you have Stockholm syndrome, this is your life and our life forever. So welcome, you can't get away, your questions on football and life, this is Today's Guardian football weekly. On the panel today, Jonathan Wilson, welcome. Morning, Hayden, very well. Thank you. Hello, John Broin. Hello. And welcome, Barry Glenn Denning. Hello. So we are recording the morning after the semi-final victory for Argentina over England, you are listening to this at least a week after the World Cup has finished. So we're going to try, we are, there are some England questions, but we'll start in the mode that hopefully we are all in as you listen to this from Joachim says, what is your favorite thing to do in a football detoxing period like the one coming up? And don't say spent time with your family because we all know that's not true. Let's, we'll get to that, Barry. Well, traditionally, I always enjoy watching the Tour de France between, as my bridge between the end of the domestic season and the star at the next one this year because of the World Cup and because we're in the States, it's more or less passing me by. And that's a bit of a shame, but I am keeping tabs on it and I was suspect by the time this goes out, Tadej Pogacher will have won this year's Tour de France by about five hours and 26 minutes because he's unstoppable. I also enjoy watching crime procedural dramas and box sets. Would you have a recommendation, Wilson for Barry of a crime procedural drama that could get him from the end of the World Cup to the start of the Premier League? Well, we were talking about Bosch last night, weren't we, Barry, that I'm actually slightly behind you on Bosch, but I've very much enjoyed Bosch. There's sort of three incarnations of it. There's Bosch, there's Bosch legacy, and then there's Ballard, which sadly is not about the Sonland Centreback, but I finished the first iteration of Bosch on the flight from Dallas to New York. So anybody who hasn't, it's not really the recommendation of Barry because he's already seen it. And indeed you're well into Ballard territory, but anybody who hasn't watched Bosch, it's figured. And it's not Bosch, it's not the, it's not the man who says Bosch and eats big Chinese takeaways. It's not that. No, it's a Bosch man. It's not a big joke. L.A. Disactive Harry Bosch. It's played by Titus Welliver, who I suspect has the coolest name in the world, or actually has the two coolest names because Harry Bosch, his full name is Faranamus Bosch after the Dutch, I think, artist, and the actor's name is Titus Welliver. He also was in Deadwood, but Bosch is very much set in Hollywood based on the novels by Michael Connolly, who I'm also a bit fan of, reading one of his at the moment. And I very much enjoyed while out and about in Hollywood, seeing places that are recognised from the Bosch TV series. And to confirm you said he was in Deadwood, not in Jedwood, that would be different. John Watson. What, what will you be doing for your detox? Well, like Bosch, I do enjoy a bit of sort of France. There will be some, I'm going to the England Pakistan test series and I'm also going to the Beyond the Gates Death Metal Festival. Yes. This is what I'm interested in. Yeah. Do you know what, let me just read you the line up and see what you think of these bands, shall we? That's, uh, yeah. Where is it? It's sort of in a Scandinavian wood, is it? And you, it's sort of like 10% stout that you have to drink and just yell loudly. That's sort of the vibe I'm getting. Go and burn a church. Yeah. Widly enough, one of the motifs is a burning church, yes. So that, you know, and part of the law of the Norwegian black metal scene is actually the torching of churches, which is not a very nice incident. But anyway, so, yeah, it's 2026, so some of your very big favourites here. The top loader lighthouse family. Yeah. Yeah. Dancing in a mood like played at the start and, and end of the set. So, uh, testament, one of your favourites, yeah. The mighty electric wizard, who I'm actually really looking forward to seeing, the mighty blood incantation. Um, okay. Some of these, I can't even read, because you know, they do the, the, the, the, the, uh, The font is, the font is, yeah, yeah, so spectral wound, yeah, they sound good, don't know. It's a fairly real, like, deck, it sounds like what Declan Rice had before the semi-finals, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the wrong lettuce and how the spectral wounds, yeah, uh, castle rat, they sound good. The ruins of Bevorast, which sounds like some sort of Tolkien, um, sort of offshoot, doesn't it? And, uh, my friend that I attended with this is very excited about the lineup. Uh, I just tend to go along and, you know, feel the vibes and the vibes are great. Sure. Yeah, well, next week actually, um, which by the time people are listening to will be, uh, last week or a couple of weeks ago, I, I'm off to see the macabees in Bristol, which is, uh, not quite as, as intense, I suspect as John's gig, but friend of the show Felix White is, uh, hopefully sorting me out for that. Um, good man. Last night I had a chat with Liam Frey from caught scene as he called when we were, uh, debriefing, uh, and he wished us all the best, uh, said his, uh, and their plates of gigs. So, you know, and he offered you a lot of love, so there you go. So highly him. Oh, thank you. You're right. Yeah. Uh, I hope you're well as well, Liam. On the subject of not wanting to spend time with your family, actually, I cannot wait to see, it is amazing how much you miss your children and Mrs. Russian having been away for this long. But I am on a promise to not say the words I'm tired for six weeks for the moment I land. I am not allowed to say, doesn't matter how boned I am or hour of the day they wake up. I am doing every morning and every night time for six weeks. That is the debt that I have racked up. So I am, I cannot wait to see them and miss them so much within half an hour. I'll be like, I need to be back on sunset Boulevard with Christine Quinn and that's, that's how I'll be. But, you know, for that half hour, it will be amazing, um, regarding your fatigue, Max, of one of many things I've learned about you on this Odyssey is that you can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. So like you will go to bed for 20 minutes and have an 18 minute sleep and then just get up. It's a superpower. I don't think you appreciate how lucky you are to be able to do that. Well, as I base my life on Jack Reacher, he often said, sleep when you can't, like whether you're marine, you have to sleep when you can because you never know when the next attack is coming and that attack here could just be another podcast, uh, at home, it could be a child waking, but it is proper brush teeth lights off, clothes off, in bed, 17 minutes down out. That's the only way I can survive because you never know when your next sleep is coming. Yes, John? I think it, I think it goes for both of you at Jonathan and Max that they never know when the next pod is coming. I mean, you're right. I don't know soon. Yeah, but they're both. It's not going to be a long time. I consider I do me fair share of pods, but you two just take it to the end of the degree. There's just a claxing in the sky. I see it. The big P in the sky. And you've got to go back and podcast. Okay. Let's do my fourth of six today. So, wow. Very well done. There's only three of four for me. Oh, no, this is, uh, this is two of three for me. God, it's a terribly short day. Um, one of three. Okay. Let's do so. We're doing well. Yeah. Paul says, should England appoint Brendan McCullough as their new manager, run towards the danger? We've had, we've had two weeks, Wilson, uh, uh, you know, I, I don't know if Bas Bull would work. But, uh, what do you think to the question? I mean, he's still doing one day managers and he and he seems to be doing quite well T20 rising and hammering India when we were over here, which obviously didn't see any of, uh, and now top of the T20 rankings, although they were well beaten in the ODI and a record and ODI's, that's what got final is dismal. So I suspect he might lose the ODI job soon as well. Maybe, maybe he does have a free time. I mean, I don't think Brendan McCullough's response to going ahead would be to bunker down with eight players on the edge of his own box. No. No. So in that sense, if, if we need a, a short sharp shock to break England out of there, you know, the, the Mafficking tenders tendency, then there may be that is the solution. Yeah. Do you think Wilson that we're all, you know, late 40s, early 50s, right? So let's say we have 30 years, 35 years to go. Do you think England's men's team will win a World Cup in our lifetime? Yeah. Maybe. I mean, it's possible 50, 50. I mean, if, if, well, people will know this one, they, but if Spain, how, uh, if Spain have one on the Sunday, uh, on the Sunday is to come for us, then England will be the only team remaining with only, which have won the World Cup once and once only, which for neatness of sake makes me think in the guarantee to win in 2030, and then there'll be no single time World Cup winners. But if Argentina win, have one, then, uh, I don't think that's a certain, but do you, do you think John, there is a, you know, it's still fresh in our minds and like by the time people listen, it will be a bit old and well, you know, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, pretty much like five minutes afterwards. I'm like, okay, you know, like I, I, I, my love of football is if we win, it's great. And if we lose, I'm kind of expecting it through all the teams that I follow. But do you think there is a mentality like a psychology, like something intangible for England that doesn't exist for the other big footballing powers? Yeah. Um, this is, isn't it Thomas Tuchel was brought into change that mentality and, uh, picking over the post moorms, I think the reasonable point is that he couldn't change, he decided to even like take it on yet further. Okay. These players are going to defend deep and, and try and, and try and kick the way out. And they're not going to control the ball and they're just going to hope and hit in hope. And he decided to buy fully into that mentality. I think it's Jonathan said on the, on the pod afterwards. It wasn't like Southgate. Southgate was at least trying to do stuff and you actually look at the substitutions on much more attacking. Um, let's not really indicate that I imagine by the time this goes out, everyone will have had quite enough of that. We might even have had enough of Thomas Tuchel, uh, him and Keir Stammer could be holidaying together in Ibiza by the time this goes out, couldn't they? But yeah, and listen, I think we said this after various finals that England's have lost and, or various big matches that they've lost, is that, you know, if, that there is a corner of a football match that is forever England, which is an England player chasing Nackad after a ball losing it, no one getting a second ball and it's, and the opponent's going back against them and then having a hack it clear and have to live and, and, and, and see out this danger and maybe that's why the Mexico game was such a, a swell of national emotion because this time it actually worked and it, it felt like, yeah, the, the Dunkirk spirit that Matthew King, hey, let's just go all the more images, whatever it's probably a little regrettable that we have to do that. But that's, that's something about the mentality, isn't it, that, that we, we celebrate stuff that's defensive, the underdog spirit, the bulldog spirit, such as it is, and, you know, it's, it's something you've got to be a little bit careful with in, in, in, in these times, but the rear guard effort is something we find heroic and the thing is, the rear guard effort hasn't really worked for us, and we've got to be honest about this and that, that's why basketball worked for England for a little while because it changed the mentality. Um, I don't think England needs to be quite as evangelistic and talk about how we're saving international football because that's doing okay for itself, I think, uh, but there has to be someone to come in and, and weirdly enough, Tom is too cool as a pragmatist. Maybe wasn't the correct fit because we maybe need an evangelist at someone to change the culture. Yes. We got that. We got that. Uh, you must barely feel quietly confident now going into it. I know you are nervous, but that you'll always have, you know, it's like tottering him's day or whatever it is, you know, it's Glen Denning's day when, you know, the day after England are out and you can just walk freely for the rest of the tournament. Well, I thought England would win the World Cup just gone. I really did. I was terrified. They had, they didn't, they blew the semifinal and look, as for whether England will ever win one in our lifetime, you're convinced Max, my lifetime will be a lot shorter than yours. But anyway, let's not forget there was for a very long time, Spain's inability to win a World Cup was a standing joke. And then they won one and they also won the Euro's was twice once twice. So I suspect at some point England will win one, you know, see also Paris Saint-Germain their inability or their almost heroic ability to mess up Champions League campaigns. And they've since got their act together. So I wouldn't worry too much if I was the, but I think this, this one for those of us who don't want England to win a World Cup, the one just gone will be always have a very special place in our heart. Yeah. Life shows coming up first of September, Vika Street in Dublin, 9th of September, so hot theatre, Walton Stowe, Guardian.co.uk, such football weekly live, the London shows being live streamed as well. So wherever you are in the world, you can watch it and that'll be for part one, back in a second. Well, it's part two of the Guardian football weekly, Jed says, how can we resist FIFA and it's nonsense? Wilson. Very hard. I mean, the problem with FIFA is, I mean, manifold, but the reason why it's so resistant to reform is that the delegate to vote for Johnny Infantino, a lot of them benefit from that relationship, that if you're on a FIFA committee and FIFA committees in 2024, who is a vote to expand the number of FIFA committees from 7 to 35. And if you're on a FIFA committee, you get your salary, you get, you know, you get a stipend and you get expenses, which are pretty generous. And if you're enjoying that, then you're never going to vote against a president who allows that to happen. So I think the only, the only challenge really can come from UEFA, I don't think it'll come from this UEFA, I don't think I've done the chefer in, really has the stomach for the fight, but realistically, if you had a World Cup without any of the top European teams and if they could hive off Brazil, Argentina, and then possibly take Japan, South Korea, US, Mexico, then you don't really have much left, but you'd have to have a very strong constituency there who, who wanted reform. And what we've seen, you know, when the Balligan decision happened and UEFA came out and condemned it, there were only four European associations, he backed that up, who were obviously maybe was five, Belgium, Germany, Netherlands, Norway, was anybody else, so maybe it was just four. And the English FA didn't, because the FA is looking to host the Women's World Cup in 2035 and doesn't want, the decision would be announced in November, doesn't want to scuffle that. And I think they've probably got their eye on a bid for the World Cup in either 2038 or 2042, depending on the regulations. So again, they don't want to make an enemy of Infantino now. And I think the FA was sort of burned by them condemning Cheferin and his sort of flipping about with Tim Limits for UEFA President in 2024. And nobody else, nor even the Norwegians who've been very sort of hard on FIFA, not even the Norwegians spoke up in support. So I think the FA will have fine, we'll just look after ourselves. Do you think I see very little hope of change, frankly? Yeah. I think John, like we care and we are really, you know, we are deeply invested in this sort of stuff professionally as well as like caring about the game. And I, you know, you did wonder if the fact that it spilled onto the pitch, you know, the suspension of Ronaldo's suspension, the suspension of Balaghan's suspension, immediately I think my coming of Barry said it or someone else said it, you know, like, you can understand why fans think this is bent now. Even if it isn't, there is a difference to the game being run badly, or people not having the best interest of the game at heart off the pitch once it goes onto the pitch. Like, could that be a paradigm shift in this, or do you think that is sort of wishful thinking? Yeah. I mean, I think the grace and favour, sinecure and patronage stuff that Jonathan talked about, that will go on, well, you know, everyone's on the gravy train. But this is what happens is in it where when things fall down, when come down, look at the previous FIFA regime, we all knew, to a certain extent, there were many, many stories about what was happening. And then these falls come almost suddenly, don't they? And that's the thing. But we do live in a political climate where to follow the leadership of the country that we are currently in at the moment, you can style it out, you can be brazen, and that's pretty much how infatino has chosen to do it. It's almost as, you know, he doesn't do many press conferences, he, that those decisions that they make, like the balling in decision, they're brazen, they just say, where we made the decision, what can you do about it? But as you've seen with the fall of Trump previously, and maybe that may come again, and he did come back, as you've seen in the UK with someone like Nigel Farage, he was riding very high, suddenly, if there's a, if they've let something slip, if there's a chink in the armour or something like that, that's when things change can come. The issue is, as Jonathan alluded to, is who is willing of the other confederations, who are suffering a UEFA, who have recently painted themselves as the ANSI FIFA, you know, they've gone against hydration breaks, they've gone against various rulings that have taken part in this World Cup, but that's as far as it goes. We thought that, Philippine, we must credit say, at this point, saying that infatino would never be a reformer of FIFA, that wasn't going to happen, but when the shit goes down, we need someone ready to actually take this on, but it may be impossible because the amount of interest involved, everyone wants a drink out of it, don't they, and that's for the big issue, really. Well, I think when Blasher went down, we all thought Gianni and Fantino would be the saviour, didn't we? Well, Philippe did not, to be fair, yeah. Right, okay, yeah. Well, Philippe knows far more about this stuff than I do, but I also saw in Fantino as this quite amiable ball-blow, who conducted Champions League draws and seemed harmless enough, and his reign at FIFA has us all pining for the good old days, a set, so who's to say that? Who's to say that if Infantino was to go for whatever reason, that his successor wouldn't be worse again, because that, as Johnston has said, is quite the gravy train chugging along there and no one who's unborrowed wants it to be derailed? And actually, there was a question Wilson on, the criticism that you get if you criticize FIFA and Infantino is this is a very Eurocentric sort of view of things, and I suppose, you know, do football fans care anywhere, really, deeply, and do football fans in those smaller countries that get the patronage of FIFA care at all, like, you know, or, I mean, it's very hard to, I don't know, and maybe you don't know, maybe it's not a fair question, but you sure don't mean that there is this idea, you know, we are coming from a Eurocentric angle, what we see, we see with our eyes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that other people believe that. Yeah, but I think even to put it in those terms, as to put it in the terms Infantino wants us to put it in, he portrays himself as this champion of the global South. And yet, anyway, he would say, look, we've expanded the World Cup, there's now 16 more teams under that majority of those are from the global South. And in many ways, that is a very good thing, it is a very positive thing. You know, you saw him, he hasn't been anywhere near his vocal, this World Cup, but the previous one, talking about how people in Europe should be silent for 3,000 years because of their, you know, their past crimes, and you think, well, yeah, but right now, we knew that in Qatar, there were, I mean, however many thousand migrant worker deaths, at least related to World Cup projects. And the idea that somehow the criticism of obvious abuses can be weaponized against the people making the criticism is, I mean, it's a classic popular trick. And I think, you know, people, people go along with, people are so sort of terrified of being seen to ignore the justified complaints of the global South, that they sort of allow those, that narrative to develop. And, you know, migrant worker deaths are disgusting, whoever's sort of causing them, whatever sort of cause is being espoused alongside it. So, I think what we've seen at this tournament with the issue with Omar Hassan, the Somali Ref, I think the, the fact that it varies from country to country, but over 80% of applications for visas from fans from Africa going to the US and Canada would, would turn down a very high proportion of journalists requests for accreditation and, and for, visas would turn down. I think Egypt's anger of referring in that Argentina game, I think there is now a recognition in certain areas from certain people that Infantino is not actually a friend of the global South. And that combines with, and I'm sure Asassi has said this on, on the podcast, FIFA's contempt for Africa, the ways used Africa, I think that that is slowly filtering through. But at the same time, these are quite abstract things and if that's what people just don't care. And that's why I think, you know, you know, the point you made before, the Balaghan issue, the fact it seemed to extend onto the pitch, it's a bit like in the same way there's all these scandals around Boris Johnson, but the one that cuts through his party gate, because that's the one that sort of seems most relevant to the most people. It could be a similar thing, but, you know, the, the delegate to on these committees on, on the gravy train, they don't care. No. Paul says, dear, all thanks to the insight and entertainment throughout the World Cup. There was a distinct lack of handball related VAR controversy at the World Cup, despite this having blighted previous international tournaments. And the Premier League, handball's given for innocuous things and they're like, what's the reason? Did the rules change? Or have players really adapted and become adept at keeping their arms out of their way? What do you think about that, John? And also, actually, the sort of letting the game flow vibe of this tournament. Do you know what that's interesting? I hadn't really thought about the humble thing, but it's true, isn't it? It's something that, appearing on the pod regularly, we simply discuss every time in the Premier League. And yet, for some reason, scents seems to have prevailed in this World Cup. And I suppose one thing about World Cups is on a lot of the time the protocols do extend into the domestic football, and often they can be for the better. And let's hope that's the case, though, I have a feeling that on a wet Monday morning in October, we'll be debating a, you know, a silly, but handball or other, you know, and it just goes back to the... Where Adam Smith's arms meant to go, yeah, yeah, did anyone know what handball is? And to be fair, to the referees at this World Cup, they did do that. Now, we are talking the day after the England game where, let's just say, let it flow in the first half was taken to the end of the degree. I think, as I said, you joined the corner of my eye, I wasn't really noticing. When they were singing the Argentinian anthem, I thought, for a moment, I saw the referee singing it. It wasn't the case before, anyone issues anything that, this is a humus sake, but I just got a bad feeling about that. Now, there is this talk of it being Argentinian as World Cup as a result, and all that stuff. But the referee has been, okay, I always come back to this that, remember, this is a World Cup in North America. North Americans do not like simulation, diving, flopping, as they call it. They like to let it flow. It was the same in the 2014 World Cup, which I think was a bit too much rough stuff, remember, when Neymar got kicked out of the tournament. This one, there have been some quick, exotic, referring performances, as it's fair to say, but overall, the standard has been decent, and probably the best thing about it is that handball thing that sense has descended. We aren't talking about natural positions. We aren't, you know, and actually, I don't even know what a natural position. If your arm can point in a certain direction, you can hold it there. That's natural surely, unless you turn into Mr. Tickle, and you know what, that's given me a sense of Premier League season dread of handball debates and late night phone ins over that. Yeah, when you read Mr. Tickle, it is actually quite sinister, like when you break it. Yes, absolutely. What he's actually up to is really not on, I think. All right, that'll do for part two, back in the sec. Well, to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly, Ian says, I left the UK in 1991. I've been listening to the Guardian Football Weekly since it started in 2006. I don't think it was even called a podcast back then. Anyway, when Max stood in for Jimbo, my lack of knowledge meant that in my mind, I thought that Max was Max Clifford, the publicist. I was slightly surprised how energetic and positive he sounded considering his agent background. Have the panelists ever been mistaken for other, more or less famous celebrities, Ian writes. It's a small one, but he's a great lad. So Paul Hurst of the Times, I used to be, Mark and Samuel, Mark used to think that I was Paul Hurst for a while, so that's good book. Okay, that is niche. That is niche. Yeah, Wilson. Yeah. I've twice. Well, see if you can work out who it is, actually. I've twice been asked if I was a particular actor, and I think that actor would be devastated by the comparison. I know this, but I can't. Jimmy Nail. Jimmy Nail. No. Not Jimmy Nail. So once in a restaurant in Istanbul, and once was in an airport in Spain, they were foreign people, so maybe just not used to it. Right. So it's an English actor in Nottingham, British, British actor, oh, Scottish actor. David Tennant. Yeah. Okay. So, if David Tennant was playing as an older, slightly iller, it's a bit like I've had Ben Affleck, but the movie he's in, he has like a degenerative disease, is that, you know, you look like David Tennant, but not a well one. Baz apart from Tom Watson, the former Labour Deputy Leader. I have been mistaken for Graham Linnahann, which, wow, I would like to say, I do not share his views. I actually used to know Graham a bit back in the 90s when he was an open, common, comedy writer, but yeah, probably the less said about that, the better. Chris O'Dowd is another one, the actor. He is from Slig or Mail, I'm not sure in the West of Ireland, but, yeah, so two of them, basically. Do you think, um, do you think you would have done a better or worse job than him in Bridesmaids? Well, I can't act. So I'm fine with it. Probably worse. Yeah, worse. Well, hang on. I mean, I, I, I seem this was a character you were playing, Barry, is this actually you? I'd quite like to be an actor, but my acting ambitions have always been tormented by the fact that I just cannot act for toffee. I have been recognized by a famous person who thought I was, I was once in a nightclub in Manchester and Clint Boone of the Inspiral Carpets came over and said, all right, mate, are you doing being years? We've never met before. So Clint thought I was someone else, well, I had to sort of say, I think you've maybe got me mistaken for some, and I just thought, hang on, who is he mistaking me for, which is the dread thought of who he actually thought I was? Did he think I was some desiccated ex-Mank star of the early 90s or something like that? Did he think you were Bez? Did he think you were Bez? That's the question. Yeah. This is from Adrian, who's your favourite James Bond? Wilson. Probably Roger Moore, because I went through a phase of thinking that Roger Moore wants to be ridiculous, but I actually think that the ridiculousness is the key to it, that I think it's obviously nonsense, it's not the carry level plotting, and therefore the sort of the arch way he played, it was probably the right way to do it. I think those are, maybe it's just the A2R, maybe the bonds that come out when you sort of ate a nine. In the same way, your first walkups always your best, maybe your first pump is always your best. Yeah. When you're just watching ITV at Christmas, and it comes on, so I suspect we're all Connery Moore types, Barry? Yeah, Connery for me, he would very much be my go-to bond, but I can never remember, like you could throw any bond film at me in title, and I wouldn't know who the bond was in it, but... Apart from the living daylight, it's Timothy Dalton. I'm quite confident of that, but apart from that, I'm not sure, John. It's got to be... It's laser beam, not laser beam, doesn't get the glaze of the EOS, you know what I'm saying? It's going to be underrated. I don't imagine a secret service, which is a laser beam one, isn't it? That is probably the best Bond film, so from that point of view, maybe laser beam is, in terms of, you know, pound for pound, maybe he is the best. Of all of them, who would I ever drink with? I think it would be Raj, but I did hear a story, this was told by David Bowie, not to be, I should say, but David moved into a place in Switzerland, and the next door neighbour happens to be Raj and Moore. So the first night, Raj knocks on and says, hi, I'm your neighbour, and they sat and had this great night where Raj had told all these anecdotes, and it was absolutely fantastic. The next night, Raj came round, he said, you know, they support a gin and sonic, and told exactly the same stories. The same happened the next night, and on the fourth night, David Bowie and his son Duncan hit under the kitchen, so that Raj was left hanging, but there you go. It's like reading wins, it's like reading wins, it's going to be an ordinary day. CSP says, as a fan of, as a fan of analogue technologies, I'm fascinated by Bowie's use of a notebook rather than a laptop, like many journalists. Does he take notes in the notebook during a match and use those to compile his notes for each podcast? I don't see others on the pod referencing written notes, just curious, Bowie, analogue or Bowie. Yeah, I take notes, and I always use the same specific kind of notebook, which apparently remarked upon, he said, a lot of lawyers use them, and they're the sort of best in the business. I don't want a hand, but like an A4 size paper notebook, because I'm a lefty, I don't like refill pads with the holes on the left hand side, because, you know, it doesn't... Oh, I got left handed, not socialist, sorry, I was kind of like... And yeah, if I don't take notes, I can't remember things, so maybe I presume other panelists just have better memories of the meagre, because, you know, during this World Cup, we were watching sometimes four or five games a day. I can't remember what happened in which game, I'm not that good, and then on real of it's premier league night, or champions league night, there's five, six games, whatever to be across, so I need to write things down to remember them. And I just prefer writing to use an laptop, long hand, or an old school. Yeah. Christian says, providing Mark Langlan isn't on the panel. If you could only eat five fruits or vegetables for the rest of your life, what would they be? It's a very... if you've only got five between both fruit and vegetables, this is tricky. I will go to you first, Jonathan Wilson. Are we counting potatoes? We are counting potatoes. Pateer is... Pateer is one. Well, potatoes definitely, because they're so versatile and varied, you can do lots with them. Yeah. I really like dates. Wow, dates is a big shout. Well, they're like toffee but healthy. They were the best thing about the guitar world cup for me was the great selection of dates in the supermarket. Interesting. There's enough full of sugar. I mean, yeah, but like it's not a bad sugar, it's like actual sugar. Figs. We're fine. Big kind of a fig. You'd go figs and dates in your five. Yeah, I think I know they're not dissimilar. He's regular. He's regular. Yeah. Yeah. Can they play in the same plate? That's the thing. Can you play things and dates together is the question, isn't it? Tomatoes. Yes. And I guess onions, just I could get a bit more flavour in there. Peppers, obviously. I've got a history of peppers. Yes. But no, I think, yeah, I think, yeah, figs and dates is my two fruits and potatoes. Onions, tomatoes. Onions and tomatoes. Yeah. Well, okay. Barry. Well, I mean, if you're including potatoes and onions, sorry, I really like cherries. I'm bringing the, I'm bringing cherries in for figs, sorry. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. Yes, Barry. I mean, you can't. Onions are such a staple of almost every meal that you have to go with onion. Potatoes absolutely couldn't live without them. Peas, tomatoes and you need a fruit. I need a fruit. Grapes. Okay. Okay. You turn it into wine. Yeah. Ah, just like grapes. Good. I don't mean to eat. I don't understand. I don't understand. Well, I like grapes. Okay. Fine. Good reason to pick them, John. Yeah. I always say my favourite vegetable is onions. To the point where someone asked me the other day, would I an onion like an apple? Like, you know, like bite from it, like, you know, out of a bowl. I hope you wouldn't be as noisy as Max's. No. No. Any problem with that is that I'd only heard of one person that did that. And that was the Gloucestershire Builder Slasereal Killer, Fred West. So it's probably not a good look. Um. Well, I went to a play in Buenos Aires once, which I think was called a Menos Tanemos Subuches. So at least we have onions. And the final climactic scene, this is a spoiler of anybody is going to see that play, is their meeting onions like apples because it's all they got left. Yeah. I mean, you can't imagine an advert where they've decided who can we get to be the face of onions? And they pick Fred West. It doesn't seem right, although I once, in my sort of wacky student days, we were doing, we were putting like cash on the table to like, could you eat a lime in one bite? His eight quid. Josh go for it. And Josh spent an hour with a lime in his mouth trying to get the, you know, to pierce the skin, to get through the rubbery skin and where the vitamin C hit him. And I think it was onion in three bites and Fraser went for it. And his first bite, he really went big and the sadness in his eyes and face and body. And for days and days, his, he was not right. Like downstairs was a real problem. A friend of mine was once challenged to eat a pound of butter and ended up getting hospitalized. So there you go. God. And what'd you say to the doctor? Like what? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?